Blood will bleed you!!!!!

Real talk I don't want to be judged on what I'm doing and how I conduct my life its sad when you're being talked about by the people you thought loved and cared for you. God said vengeance is mine with that being said I'm definitely leaving it in Gods hands.  To God be the Glory.

In the midst God keep me

Just thinking back on my flare 20 plus years ago the difference between now and than years ago my girls were very small I had to take care of them in the midst of a lupus flare it was nobody but God that kept me, remembering there was no other help.  Now those girls are all grown up I don't know how I would manage without there love and support. My heart goes out to anyone thats sick due to illness and those that have no family to care for them. My illness just open my eyes wide life is to short.

You cant depend on everybody

I've always thought that family is the ones' you can depend on in the time of sickness, financial problems, emotional distress but that's not the case.  They will integrate you, bully you and make you feel like crap because you're sick.  They will eventually forget about you in time.  I've learned not to get mad at them because everybody have there own family but don't assume everything peachy because you haven't  check on your love one.  Its not fair to ridicule you for answers that were told already.  Sometimes I feel like I've committed the crime by that getting sick.
I have it hard enough trying to get by day by day.  I'm the one going through it, I'm the one that's life will never be the same but do they understand that. If God called me home to glory would they shed a tear would they cry or would they fall out in disbelief  because they didn't do all they could or blame themselves for not doing more.  I have much love for my family and I know in my heart they don't owe me anything.  All I ask is for love and support from my family.  Its sad when they hear or you say something they don't won't to hear and than they go into hidding those are to ones that you don't hear from foe many moons.  I love my family I know their iintentions are great.

What I go through on a day to day

My Dr. Has increased my insulin that means I stick myself 5 times a day and that's not including my sugar checks.  Sometimes I just want to give up and just throw my hands up.  Not only that medicine as well you just get tired.  I now have a health coach and now I have to eat every 3 hours not so cool that mean I have to been in place to take my insulin and eat on time every single day. All I can say is Lord help me!!!!!!

Another Sleepiness Night

Lately I haven't been able to sleep at night.   Nothing is really on my mind.  I haven't been feeling well past couple days.  My back and under the arm has been really hurting.  My chest hurts when I breathe in trying not to depend on the oxygen to much.  Its the rainy days that get me in joint ache pain.  I pray everyday that God take away my aches and pain.  I also thank God I'm not where I was 5months ago not a good place.